The Unhealthy Music Addiction: ROCK

OLD TIME ROCK 'N ROLL

The cool uncle. Fun and sometimes spontaneous, yet restrained. Hinting at unmentionables, letting them glimpse the light. Stylized, a performer. Conscious of its audience, very direct in its simple messages. A dash of innocence and naivety. Catchy, accessible, addicting melodies.


CLASSIC ROCK

The erratic grandfather. By nature, wandering. Creating worlds as he goes. Wise and insane from a life of living. An earthy and mellow ruggedness very often excited by the wildness of life. The wildness of desperation, the wildness of women, the wildness of life's peaks and troughs.



ALT/HARD ROCK

Classic rock's love child, upset with its tumultuous existence. An outlet, a rebellion, a blooming, haunting in all its irony and rage and beauty. A vendetta against all things still, all things simple, all things complex. A confused emotion, exacerbated and beautified in its expression. A pure feeling, a poem by a child, hardened from the unforgiving sun. It's beauty, with thick, rough skin.

GRUNGE

The strange cousin. Awkward at parties, full of idiosyncrasies and conspiracy theories. Poetic and abrasive. Paranoid geniuses, flower children of the streets. Apathetic one moment, angsty the next. Lead a seemingly disconnected life every hour except the hour that they perform, when everything in the world aligns chaotically. Revolutionary. Invitational. Join the ranks of the misfit toys.

PUNK ROCK

Grunge's brother. Loud. Less thoughtful, a deliberate doer. Bored with subtleties, speaks his mind. Brutally honest, sometimes crass, always catchy. A heart pounding, sewn to the thunderous beat of life itself. A hit at parties, the class clown. Messy and to-the-point.





ALT/POP ROCK

The older brother. Has a bit of his brothers' quirk, but is generally much more subdued. Down to earth, melodic, sensible. Pretty far removed from the honest, raw, rugged rock of ages long gone. Stays within bounds, but finds a niche and rocks it. Well-liked. You can take him home to Mom.



Disclaimer: This is definitely not an attempt to give extensive, complete lists, or to eternally compartmentalize bands into one distinct genre. It's more of a gist-giving kind of thing.

Some of my favorites from each genre:

• Old Time Rock 'N Roll:  Elvis Presley, James Brown, Little Richard, Chuck Berry, The Everly Brothers, Herman's Hermits, Buddy Holly, Johnny Cash, The Beatles (yes, some bands fall under multiple categories, depending on the time period and amount of drugs they were doing)
• Classic Rock: Led Zeppelin, The Rolling Stones, The Doors, Pink Floyd, Heart, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Steve Miller Band, Aerosmith, Van Halen, Guns 'N Roses, Queen, Jefferson Airplane, Cheap Trick, Boston, Ramones, Kiss, AC/DC, The Clash, Def Leppard, Eric Clapton, Foreigner, Bob Dylan, Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers, Jimi Hendrix, John Mellencamp, Kansas, Journey, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Motley Crue, Peter Frampton, Vixen, The Who
• Alt/Hard Rock: Rage Against the Machine, Dead Sara, Foo Fighters, Ra, Breaking Benjamin, Flyleaf, Disturbed, Quiet Riot, Sick Puppies, Dragonforce, Linkin Park, Metallica, Slipknot, Skillet
• Grunge: Nirvana, Soundgarden, Pearl Jam, Stone Temple Pilots, R.E.M, The Pixies, Garbage, Butthole Surfers, Alice in Chains
• Punk Rock: The Offspring, Beastie Boys, Green Day, Blink-182, Sum 41, Fountains of Wayne, Bowling for Soup, Simple Plan, The Academy Is..., Forever the Sickest Kids, Cute is What We Aim For, Good Charlotte, My Chemical Romance
• Alt/Pop Rock: Third Eye Blind, Cake, Guster, Jet, Sugar Ray, Paper Tongues, Phantom Planet, No Doubt, Hootie & the Blowfish, Stroke 9, Semisonic, Sister Hazel, Gin Blossoms, Ingram Hill, Sugarcult, The Fray, Augustana, Spin Doctors, James Blunt, Train, The Wallflowers, Vertical Horizon, LFO, Switchfoot, Eve 6, Maroon 5, Matchbox 20, Jimmy Eat World, Jack's Mannequin, Paramore, Weezer, 3 Doors Down, Five for Fighting